00:00
00:00
Shikamarana
Yeah...

Age 32

Deputy Douchebag

where is this

In between

Joined on 6/10/07

Level:
19
Exp Points:
3,820 / 4,010
Exp Rank:
14,343
Vote Power:
6.09 votes
Audio Scouts
5
Art Scouts
1
Rank:
Police Lieutenant
Global Rank:
5,948
Blams:
446
Saves:
1,093
B/P Bonus:
14%
Whistle:
Silver
Medals:
1,333
Gear:
1

I need criticism on a story

Posted by Shikamarana - October 8th, 2009


Stargirlight
Posted by Twilight Oct. 8, 2009 @ 5:44 PM EDT

Made at the request of EJR

__________________________
December 12th, 2023
5:24 a.m.
Madrid, Spain

"Truly, madly. Don't you know I hardly sleep anymore; again it's after four...." I sang, strumming my guitar, through the empty, cold streets. This part of town was usually deserted until noon, only yo be left occupied by some of them. Yet, only I knew they existed. Only I knew.

I was shit at it, I know. It wasn't the guitar that mattered, though. It was the words. The words that would summon them. They came to their song. I wanted one. I wanted a Stargirl.

"I go slightly..."

I heard footsteps. I grinned.

"Crazy nightly..."

They stopped. I turned. My smile widened.

"Thinking of how to win your love. But the best I can do is dream of you. What's your name, little Stargirl?" I could only see a silhouette, but I could tell it was one of them. She was short, teenager short. "No say?"

"It's..." I heard her whisper.

"There's no other underneath my cover. But the thought of you-"

"You skipped a part."

"I know." I strummed and playfully walked towards her. I added a skip to my step. She still stood her ground. "Hold you near, until you disappear. What's your name, little one?"

She said nothing.

"In the morning light; at least you were mine for the night." I was still smiling.

"It's Twilight," she'd told me. Then she disappeared. I turned.

The sun was coming out.


Comments

I'm the Nerd, I'm better than you. I will always be better than you, you can't deny my awesome. I could beat you at everything if I tried. I can even beat you at everything with out trying. I'm awesome. And because I'm awesome, I can do anything. Bow before me, pawn. I am you lord, master, king, ruler, and god. You shall listen to none but me, I control you, I'm the best. You are a minion, and nothing better.

"notanerd1 says:

I'm the Nerd, "

Wut? Also who are you? Shutup.

tl:dr

I love Twilight

uuuhhhh... not bad?

Thanks, I'll tell him.

it fucking sucks donkey dick

He said that sounds like something HE would say, lol.

*Must resist saying creepy things to girl on the internet!*

Hey.

You don't even know what I look like. Say those creepy things, sometimes it's amusing.