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Shikamarana

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Shikamarana

Age/Gender: 17, Male
Location: New Jersey
Job: Slacker

boopty doop

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Entry #27

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Shikamarana

I need criticism on a story

Posted by Shikamarana Oct. 8, 2009 @ 5:52 PM EDT

Stargirlight
Posted by Twilight Oct. 8, 2009 @ 5:44 PM EDT

Made at the request of EJR

__________________________
December 12th, 2023
5:24 a.m.
Madrid, Spain

"Truly, madly. Don't you know I hardly sleep anymore; again it's after four...." I sang, strumming my guitar, through the empty, cold streets. This part of town was usually deserted until noon, only yo be left occupied by some of them. Yet, only I knew they existed. Only I knew.

I was shit at it, I know. It wasn't the guitar that mattered, though. It was the words. The words that would summon them. They came to their song. I wanted one. I wanted a Stargirl.

"I go slightly..."

I heard footsteps. I grinned.

"Crazy nightly..."

They stopped. I turned. My smile widened.

"Thinking of how to win your love. But the best I can do is dream of you. What's your name, little Stargirl?" I could only see a silhouette, but I could tell it was one of them. She was short, teenager short. "No say?"

"It's..." I heard her whisper.

"There's no other underneath my cover. But the thought of you-"

"You skipped a part."

"I know." I strummed and playfully walked towards her. I added a skip to my step. She still stood her ground. "Hold you near, until you disappear. What's your name, little one?"

She said nothing.

"In the morning light; at least you were mine for the night." I was still smiling.

"It's Twilight," she'd told me. Then she disappeared. I turned.

The sun was coming out.

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The People Have Spoken

17 Comments

Oct. 8, 2009 | 7:33 PM notanerd1 says:

I'm the Nerd, I'm better than you. I will always be better than you, you can't deny my awesome. I could beat you at everything if I tried. I can even beat you at everything with out trying. I'm awesome. And because I'm awesome, I can do anything. Bow before me, pawn. I am you lord, master, king, ruler, and god. You shall listen to none but me, I control you, I'm the best. You are a minion, and nothing better.

Oct. 8, 2009 | 9:31 PM Shikamarana responds:

"notanerd1 says:

I'm the Nerd, "

Wut? Also who are you? Shutup.


Oct. 9, 2009 | 3:34 PM physicsman09 says:

tl:dr

Oct. 9, 2009 | 9:10 PM Shikamarana responds:

I love Twilight


Oct. 9, 2009 | 9:41 PM MissingNYC says:

uuuhhhh... not bad?

Oct. 9, 2009 | 10:39 PM Shikamarana responds:

Thanks, I'll tell him.


Oct. 13, 2009 | 9:46 PM ScaryMovieGangsta says:

I See You Might Be A Dumb Fucking Blonde Bitch Guess What It's Not A Nextel Phone Ass Hole Tell You What Go Out And Buy A I Phone 3G That Cost About $550.000 Dollars And See If Anyone Cares About It Or How About You Just Chock On My Dick FAGGOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oct. 14, 2009 | 1:42 PM Shikamarana responds:

You're right it's not a Nextel phone. I meant Net10. It's a Net10 pay as you go phone. 10 cents a minute, 5 cents a text. I used to have the same phone and my brother has that same phone now.

It's just a phone, lol. Calm down, homedawg.


Oct. 13, 2009 | 9:51 PM ScaryMovieGangsta says:

and for a double Bonus Also Go Buy Your Self A At&t Phone And End Up Having A Phone Bill Being Over 1,600,907 Dollars You Stupid Fucking Cunt Go Get Shot And Die

Oct. 14, 2009 | 1:49 PM Shikamarana responds:

I like Net10. It's cheap and I don't use the phone much anyway.

I think telling me to go get shot and die is a bit of an overreaction for making a silly little mistake regarding phone brands.


Oct. 13, 2009 | 9:58 PM ScaryMovieGangsta says:

And For The Record The Twilight Movie Fucking Sucks Dick Which You Well Be Choking On Because My Shit 12 Inches Long Bitch!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oct. 14, 2009 | 1:45 PM Shikamarana responds:

I'm not a fan of the Twilight books. Twilight.newgrounds.com is awesome and he wrote this story. I don't think it has anything to do with Twilight the books.

Also, I probably would chocke on your 12 inch dick. I never sucked one that big before.

Once again, sorry for the mixup with the Nextel and Net10 thing. Whoops.


Oct. 13, 2009 | 11:33 PM dabigboom says:

it fucking sucks donkey dick

Oct. 14, 2009 | 1:46 PM Shikamarana responds:

He said that sounds like something HE would say, lol.


Oct. 14, 2009 | 1:53 AM Alec-D says:

*Must resist saying creepy things to girl on the internet!*

Hey.

Oct. 14, 2009 | 1:49 PM Shikamarana responds:

You don't even know what I look like. Say those creepy things, sometimes it's amusing.


Oct. 14, 2009 | 5:51 PM ScaryMovieGangsta says:

Sorry I flew Off The Handel Girl I Didn't Have My Mountain Dew Today I Got Some Now I'm Feeling Better

Oct. 14, 2009 | 8:29 PM Shikamarana responds:

haha it's ok.


Oct. 14, 2009 | 5:52 PM ScaryMovieGangsta says:

Anyway I was Wondering Do You Want to give me A Blow Job
And In Return I'll Screw You Hard (=^_^=)
What Do You Say?

Oct. 14, 2009 | 8:30 PM Shikamarana responds:

I'm not sure. You mean like cybersex? I guess if you really want to.


Oct. 14, 2009 | 9:38 PM ScaryMovieGangsta says:

Your are such a bad girl Mmmmmmmm!!!! I like Naughty Girls!!!!

Oct. 14, 2009 | 11:24 PM Shikamarana responds:

I wouldn't say I'm THAT bad....


Oct. 14, 2009 | 9:39 PM ScaryMovieGangsta says:

come here give daddy some sugar (^_^)

Oct. 14, 2009 | 11:25 PM Shikamarana responds:

I don't want to call you daddy, that's weird. I never really got that. You guys wanna fuck your daughters?


Oct. 14, 2009 | 11:48 PM ScaryMovieGangsta says:

I Don't Have a Daughter But I Can Make One With You ;)

Oct. 15, 2009 | 2:42 AM Shikamarana responds:

I'm not ready for kids.


Oct. 15, 2009 | 12:15 AM ScaryMovieGangsta says:

By That I Meen Sex Mmmmm!!!! Yeah Baby!!!!

Oct. 15, 2009 | 2:42 AM Shikamarana responds:

Wear a condom.


Oct. 15, 2009 | 3:46 AM ScaryMovieGangsta says:

ah You Spoil Sport Okay I'll Put One On Then!!!

Oct. 15, 2009 | 4:18 AM Shikamarana responds:

Ok.


Oct. 15, 2009 | 4:34 PM ScaryMovieGangsta says:

Uh-oh!! It The Condom Broke what do you say we do it without one

(^_^)

Oct. 15, 2009 | 10:45 PM Shikamarana responds:

No.


Oct. 16, 2009 | 12:05 AM ScaryMovieGangsta says:

ah you scared girl maybe later I'll promiss I'd Do The Pull And Pray Method If I Have To

Oct. 16, 2009 | 8:30 PM Shikamarana responds:

No.

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